Enneagram Type Three
The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type:
Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious
Basic Fear: Of being worthless
Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile
Enneagram Three with a Two-Wing: "The Charmer"
Enneagram Three with a Four-Wing: "The Professional"
People with Type
Three personalities learned from a very early age to figure out what
other people admired or respected and they have an amazing ability to reach
inside themselves to draw out whatever is required to be a success. They
work hard and continually motivate themselves to do whatever it takes to
improve themselves. Usually highly efficient, they can produce twice as much
as others. The problem is that quality is sometimes compromised for the sake
of quantity, since Threes develop a tendency to evaluate themselves based on
how much they have accomplished and how things appear rather than on the
depth or substance of what they have produced.
are engaging people who seem confident and self-assured in almost any
situation. They have a knack for knowing how to dress for the occasion and
others look to them as role models. While they can easily reflect the
qualities that are valued in their families, work groups, or culture, they
have trouble looking within to discover who they really are once the layers
of success are peeled away. Then the usually cool Three can become very
emotional, image conscious and competitive. Sometimes they get in trouble
with narcissism and believing that they deserve to have whatever they want.
Inside every Three is a
child self that can be delightfully playful when it gets the attention it
needs. If the assurance of loving acceptance is uncertain, this inner child
becomes anxious and self-doubting. Because they believed that the love they
received was conditional on their achievements, they are afraid of failing
or of disappointing people. When they can accept their insecurity and learn
to love themselves as they really are, their deep inner confidence shines
because it is based in the knowledge that they are part of something bigger
Bill Clinton, O.J. Simpson, Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Kathie Lee Gifford,
for Enneagram Type Threes
- For our real development, it is essential to be truthful. Be honest
with yourself and others about your genuine feelings and needs.
Likewise, resist the temptation to impress others or inflate your
importance. You will impress people more deeply by being authentic than
by bragging about your successes or exaggerating your accomplishments.
- Develop charity and cooperation in your relationships. You can do this
by taking time to pause in busy day to really connect with someone you
care about. Nothing spectacular is required—simply a few moments of
quiet appreciation. When you do so, you will become a more loving
person, a more faithful friend—and a much more desirable individual.
You will feel better about yourself.
- Take breaks. You can drive yourself and others to exhaustion with your
relentless pursuit of your goals. Ambition and self-development are good
qualities, but temper them with rest periods in which you reconnect more
deeply with yourself. Sometimes taking three to five deep breaths is
enough to recharge your battery and improve your outlook.
- Develop your social awareness. Many Threes have grown tremendously by
getting involved in projects that had nothing to do with their own
personal advancement. Working cooperatively with others toward goals
that transcend personal interest is a powerful way of finding your true
value and identity.
- In their desire to be accepted by others, some average Threes adapt so
much to the expectations of others that they lose touch with what they
are really feeling about the situation. Develop yourself by resisting
doing what is acceptable just to be accepted. It is imperative that you
invest time in discovering your own core values.
Disorders & Addictions