If our motive is to manipulate, our communication and our leadership in
general will prove to be ineffective over time.
In recent years, since
the publication of my book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, I
have worked with many wonderful individuals who are seeking to improve the
quality of their communications, relationships, products, services,
organizations, and lives.
But sadly, I see many people using a variety
of ill-advised approaches. In effect, they try to apply short-cut,
manipulative practices learned in academic and social systems to natural
systems, the "farms" of their lives.
The Problem: Alternate Centers
Let me share with you some examples of the problem. Then I will
suggest the principle-centered solution. Some executives justify
heavy-handed means in the name of virtuous ends. They say that "business
is business" and that "ethics" and "principles" sometimes have to take a
back seat to profits. Many see no correlation between the quality of their
personal lives at home and the quality of their communications at work.
Because of the social and political environment inside their organizations
and the fragmented markets outside, they think they can abuse
relationships at will and still get results.
The head coach of a
professional football team once told me that some players don't pay the
price in the off-season. "They come to camp out of shape," he said.
"Somehow they think they can fool me, make the team, and play great in the
games."
When I ask in my seminars, "How many of you would agree that
the vast majority of the work force possess far more capability,
creativity, talent, initiative, and resourcefulness than their present
jobs allow or require them to use?" The affirmative response is about 99
percent. We all admit that our greatest resources are being wasted.
Our heroes are often people who make a lot of money. And when some
hero an actor, entertainer, athlete, or other professional suggests that
we can get what we want by practicing hardball negotiation, closing
win-lose deals, and playing by our own rules, we believe them, especially
if social norms reinforce what they say.
Some parents don't pay the
price with their kids, thinking they can fake it for the public image and
then shout and slam the door. They are then shocked to see that their
teenage kids experiment with drugs, alcohol, and sex to fill the void in
their lives.
When I invited one executive to involve all his people
and take six months to write a corporate mission statement, he said, "You
don't understand, Stephen.
We will whip this baby out this weekend." I
see people trying to do it all over a weekend trying to rebuild their
marriage on a weekend, trying to change a company culture on a weekend,
trying to pump out a major new business proposal. Some things just can't
be done over a weekend.
Many executives take criticism personally
because they are emotionally dependent on their employees' acceptance of
them. A state of collusion is established where executives and employees
need each other's weaknesses to validate their perceptions of each other
and to justify their own lack of production.
In management, everything
goes to measurement. July belongs to the operators, but December belongs
to the controllers. And the figures are manipulated at the end of the year
to make them look good. The numbers are supposed to be precise and
objective, but everyone knows they are based on subjective assumptions.
Most people are turned off by "motivational" speakers who have nothing
more to share than entertaining stories mingled with "motherhood and apple
pie" platitudes; they want substance; they want process; they want more
than aspirin and band-aids for acute pain. They want to solve their
chronic problems and achieve long-term results.
I once spoke to a
group of executives at a training conference and discovered that they were
bitter because the CEO had "forced" them to "come and sit for four days to
listen to a bunch of abstract thoughts." They were part of a paternalistic
culture that saw training as an expense, not an investment. Their
organization managed people as things.
In school, we ask students to
tell us what we told them; we test them on our lectures. They figure out
the system, and then they party, procrastinate, and cram to get the
grades. They think all of lifeoperates on the same short-cut system.
The Solution: Center on Principles
These are problems that common
approaches can't solve. Quick, easy, free, and fun approaches won't work
on the "farms" of our lives because there we're subject to natural laws
and governing principles. Natural laws, based upon principles, operate
regardless of our awareness of them or our obedience to them. Often habits
of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix,
short-term thinking. In school, many of us procrastinate and then
successfully cram for tests. But does cramming work on a farm? Can you go
two weeks without milking the cow, and then get out there and milk like
crazy? Can you "forget" to plant in the spring, goof off all summer, and
then hit the ground real hard in the fall to bring in the harvest? We
might laugh at such ludicrous approaches in agriculture, but then in
academic environments, we might cram to get grades and degrees.
The
only thing that endures over time is the law of the farm: I must prepare
the ground, put in the seed, cultivate, weed, water, and nurture growth.
So also in a business or a marriage there is no quick fix where you can
just move in and magically make everything right with a positive mental
attitude and a package of success formulas.
Correct principles are
like compasses: they are always pointing the way. And if we know how to
read them, we won't get lost, confused, or fooled by conflicting voices
and values. Principles such as fairness, equity, justice, integrity,
honesty, and trust are not invented by us: they are the laws of the
universe that pertain to human relationships and organizations. They are
part of the human condition, consciousness, and conscience.
People
instinctively trust those whose personalities are founded upon correct
principles. We have evidence of this in our long-term relationships. We
learn that technique is relatively unimportant compared to trust, which is
the result of our trustworthiness over time. When trust is high, we
communicate easily, effortlessly, instantaneously. We can make mistakes,
and others will still capture our meaning. But when trust is low,
communication is exhausting, time-consuming, ineffective, and inordinately
difficult.
Most people would rather work on their personality than on
their character. The former may involve learning a new skill, style, or
image, but the latter involves changing habits, developing virtues,
disciplining appetites and passions, keeping promises, and being
considerate of the feelings and convictions of others. Character
development is the best manifestation of our maturity. To value oneself
and, at the same time, subordinate oneself to higher purposes and
principles is the paradoxical essence of highest humanity and the
foundation of effective leadership.
Principle-centered leaders are men
and women of character who work with competence "on farms" with "seed and
soil" and who work in harmony with natural, "true north" principles and
with the law of the harvest. They build those principles into the center
of their lives, into the center of their relationships, into the center of
their communications and contracts, into their management processes, and
into their mission statements.
Author: Stephen R. Covey © 1996,
1998 Covey Leadership Center and Franklin Covey. All rights reserved.
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