Our libraries, bookstores, mail order catalogs, the Internet, and the
speeches of our public speakers and trainers are filled with suggestions,
formulas and techniques you can use to change your life, get more of what
you want and become more successful. Unfortunately, most of them fail to
produce lasting results.
As a participant, trainer and designer of self-help programs for more
than two decades, I have uncovered two "myths" that explain why so many
self-help approaches fail to produce lasting results.
I've also developed many strategies you can use to improve the results
you get from using self-help techniques. I discuss these subjects on my
web site and offer the following insights for your immediate
consideration.
Myth #1: "You Have Unlimited Power And Can Create Anything You Want"
Most self-help systems communicate a similar message:
"You have unlimited power and can create anything you want if you just
use 'X' technique."
Then you're told you can change or create anything you want by using
techniques like goal setting, visualization, affirmations, NLP,
meditation, prayer, etc.
If you look closely, those theories cannot be supported by your actual
day-to-day experiences - no matter how good it sounds, how many people say
it, or how much you want to believe it.
First of all, if you really created your own reality - consciously -
and your thoughts, beliefs and expectations actually manifested (or even
just the ones you focused on), you would be miserable and your life would
be total chaos - especially when you consider how little we know about
ourselves and the people around us, how fast the world changes, and how
often we change our minds about things.
Secondly, if you look closely, track everything and measure it
scientifically, (which I've done), it becomes clear that even the most
successful people achieve very few of the goals they set and receive very
few of the things they "ask for" using self-help techniques.
If the techniques are so foolproof, why is that the case?
From my experience, we don't usually know - consciously - what will
make us happy. We just think we do. Therefore, what you think you want in
any given moment (from the limited perspective of your conscious mind) and
what you really want (to fulfill your life purpose) are often worlds
apart.
You came into this life to experience something special - to fulfill a
unique life purpose. As a result, another part of you, an unconscious part
I compare to the Director of a movie, was assigned the task of managing
your daily experiences and filtering the "requests" you make from behind
the scenes. That brings order to the chaos and ensures that you fulfill
your life purpose.
It's important to understand that the director part of you is running
the show, not your conscious mind. The key to success in life is to
uncover what your life purpose is, build a good working relationship with
your Director, and learn how to be as clear as possible about what you
really want in any given situation.
Myth #2: "One Size Fits All"
Most self-help approaches offer what I call "cookie cutter techniques
and strategies that are supposed to work for everyone. More than two
decades of experience has shown me that there are no self-help techniques,
approaches or systems that work for everyone.
We're all too different. We all came here with different life purposes
to fulfill. And to get what we really want in life, we must learn how to
develop and apply approaches, techniques and strategies that are
customized to who we are as unique individuals.
The surest path to success is to consider other people's opinions as
possible routes to success only--no matter how smart or "successful"
someone is, how much "proof" you're given, how much you trust or respect
someone, or how logical something seems. Make every self-help approach,
technique or strategy you discover your own. Shape it, mold it, tweak it,
change it. Experiment with an open mind, use what works for you, and
discard the rest.
Why? Because ultimately, the path that leads to what you define as
success will be unique to you.
What To Do When Self-Help Fails To Produce The Results You Want
Give yourself a break, be gentle with yourself and know that you didn't
do anything "wrong."
Remember that your conscious mind is not running the show, so what you
think you want and what you really want may be worlds apart.
Rather than pushing yourself to follow someone else's path, find
comfort in the knowledge that you came here to carve out your own unique
path to success.
Realize that every self-help approach is just a possible pathway to
success. Experiment with an open mind, use what works for you, and discard
the rest.
Continue to ask for everything you think you want and flow with what
you feel strongly motivated to do in response.
Trust that your "Director" is taking care of you from behind the scenes
and you will either get what you asked for-or something even better that
is more in alignment with the "real you" and your unique life purpose.
Robert Scheinfeld has dedicated more than two decades of his adult
life to personal growth. He is a pioneer in the field of
psychospirituality, which blends the best of psychology and spirituality.
Visit his "Invisible Path to Success" web site and enroll in his free 5
lesson class to discover the "missing link" in self-help:
http://www.lifechangetips.com/article2.cgi
Reach Bob at
support@lifechangetips.com
